Phobia

photo of woman swimming underwater
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Do you believe that dreams might cause the problems in a real life? How about nightmares? Have you ever had a dream which made you to be scared of something in real life?

That happened to me…Since childhood I was pretty bold in my behavior, by this I mean, I could jump from roof of the tall building to another one, of course if there is not very huge distance, I was jumping to the ground from the first floor in the age of 6-7, I was swimming really far from the shore, that I saw dark water under me, I was jumping into the water from high and many other things…

One night, I saw a dream, I was 25 years old, I believe.

It was quiet dark and not sunny day for a beach, anyway I was there, sitting on my towel, on the sand. But something weird was happening. The beach was empty, I saw lots of towels, umbrellas, bags placed on the sand, like people were there, but no one was around. It is like, humanity disappeared.

I got up on my feet, turned around to make sure that I am alone and indeed, it was true… I did not know what happened, what mysterious power made people to leave their things.

I was on the beach in Odessa, where I used to go every day. I was close to the water, behind me was a wall with the old rusty stairs up, somebody drew graffiti on this wall. It is pretty much how beach area look in many places in Odessa, if you go up, you will see small food places, coffee cars (we have many cars with coffee machine in the trunk and their coffee one of the best, mostly in the center of the city), some small restaurants and souvenir stores. This time, it was quiet, even no birds. Sky was grey with dark blue.

When I turn to see the sea, I could not believe my eyes, my heart started beating faster, I hardly could breath, The huge wave appear in front of me, like tsunami, but we do not have tsunami in Ukraine! How?

I started to run as fast as I could, I jumped to the stairs and wave hit me.

I woke up sweat, I was shivering, I tried to calm down and breath, but it was a struggle for a while…

I guess, I was pretty lucky to get weird dreams and they were repeating for quiet some time. I had a dream before about me missing my other life and that dream I saw almost every night for about a year. As for this one,again, I saw it every single night for 3-4 months. Lucky me!

From that time, I am terrified of dark water, if I swim far and realize that it is deep enough, I am starting to struggle breathing, I cannot control my body and thoughts, I cannot swim, I cannot do anything…

Interestingly enough, I have traveled to Cyprus, for people, who does not know, it is island, not tiny one, but still at the middle of the Mediterranean sea.  Water surrounding the land, is it not scary?

One day I was walking at the center of Larnaka and I looked to the beach, people were swimming, some of them were sunbathing and I realized, I am on the island, which is much smaller then state in Ukraine where I lived before. This sea is also much bigger than Black sea and this time, it is around of me, other people and cities….

I started to shiver, I could not breath again, I was in panic, I could not hide from this feeling….

Finally, I learned how to control my phobia on Cyprus, I got used to live there, anyway, I did not plan to stay there forever.

I still have my phobia, I am not sure if I can get rid of it, I do not wanna try and swim far from the shore, nope…Just need to be cafeful.

person underwater
Photo by Daisa TJ on Pexels.com

 

Published by nadiiag

Hi, my name is Nadiia. I am from Ukraine. I cannot live without sport, healthy food, art and just interesting things. Of course I love to share it) I have tried many things, I wish to try more and more, it never stops) I have so many interests that I am going crazy already) I sewing underwear, do some paintings and other handmade, love cooking and eating that! Of course, I enjoy if my information and my creations are useful to someone.

4 thoughts on “Phobia

  1. I wonder if you have ever thought that maybe the dream is a symbol for how you feel inside? It may not be but maybe it means you need to stay close to the ones closest to you such as family. I used to have a recurring dream when I was younger in which a shadowy figure was breaking into my grandma’s house in the middle of the night. I couldn’t run and could not yell. Freaked me out.

    Liked by 1 person

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